after all this while

so much have change, yet it seems so much is still the same.
it has been so long... but why haven i gotten use to it? shoudlnt i?
there is still as many questions that is awaiting answers...
sometimes i m just convinced that there isnt answers to them...
but at many times... i m still waiting...
time really flies...
very soon it be the end of 2010 ...

i realy wonder what is ahead for me
yah many people will tell me... its u ... me who will detemine wats ahead for me.
but do u really tink so?
is it so simple to jus move on and plan ahead?

as each day passes... i can sense the loneliness that lies ahead comes closer... its scary
but i m askin myself?why m i so afraid of loneliness? what is tere to be afraid of?
but i do fear

they are things that changes over time
but how many of these things can we let go ? and how many of these things we will be holdin on so tightly even though we noe that it has changed... to the better?i aint too sure

cancerian yes i m ... but y cant i b like those not so emotional cancerian?

when will i grow out of all these?

when will i stop feeling tis way?

i miss

june

its my month....
very soon i be 27.
and all of a sudden i m thinking of what have i achieved?
i think i have achieved alot.
but the last thing on my list is money.
haiz, how long more to have a more substaintial income?
its been a long time since i have write here.
nothing much happen over these period.
still doing the same thing- gym, tennis, vb, running, movies, etc
just a additional thing i m picking up, the art of make up.
hope i can do well for that.
been quite stress about that

a thought:
sometimes i just wonder why close frens drift apart.
hate this feelings...
hope everything is fine for you.

so i noe

i thought when i felt tat i m not been appreciated is jus because i tink too much n over sensitive. but today i realise i m not been over sensitive.
i m totally unappreciated. not even tat, more than under appreciated...
i m all angry, sad, frustrated, helpless, disouraged, insulted.
once again i hear n c words tat i dunt deserve at all.
i thght u realise u shldnt treat me tat way again
but once again u did...

i m totally hurted
deeper

yes i deserved
idiot

finally

although its jus one song _)
happy


max

i have learnt a new lesson today

tere isnt much point workin yr ass off durin cny period as it doesnt pay off both ways... both in money aspect n appreciaton aspect
it will never b enough...
work n work n work
still not enough... will b even blame for not takin in more clients when i already only haf time to go toilet twice.
ha funny? i tink i find myself pretty stupid.
thks to the one who i love... i supposed... shall revise it thoroughly.

yah for e first time i thght the person is not worth for my love.
i agreed.
did i say all tis out of spite?or not... but i really do tink so...
hurting as it is ...
life still goes on

thks for wakin me up by sayin all tese hurtful comments.
it makes me realise how idiot i m to u
how DIGUSTING i m to u
how unworthy to u

u deserve better ones
hope u can find then
gd luck to someone who dun even noe e very basic of showin love upfront

life

its e same.


...

is e world full of sadness

i hope u b fine, hope u feel better
stay strong, n b positive


- tis is what i would like to tell my vocal trainer... nicole


i tink its sometin i mus tell myself too



_______________________________________________________________________________
there are many paths in life, all leading in every which way.
at times it may be too dark to see the paths, or we may choose the paths that says no entry.however the paths we choose make for the people that we are.
without this walk in life we get bored tired, n stagnant.we lose that spark that every human being jas, that light, that life.
be who you wan to be, walk where u wana walk, say wat u wana say love who u wana love and make life what you wan to make it.
dun wait till it is too late to do the tings you never had the courage to do before. live it, dun regret it.
when the fight begins himself, a man's worth someting,remember that everyting you do in life whether positively or negatively depends entirely on you.be motivated, haf faith. you always had & always noe tis: you are not alone